


Moving On

by LadyByron



Category: Eroica Yori Ai o Komete | From Eroica with Love
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21781582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyByron/pseuds/LadyByron
Summary: Klaus gets married. Dorian must move on.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> "If the sun refused to shine   
> I would still be loving you   
> When mountains crumble to the sea  
> There will still be you and me",
> 
> Thank You, Led Zeppelin.

Few times had he experienced in full what it was to be brokenhearted. Certainly, the news of his beloved Major finally wedding was the most desolating of all. 

Apparently, the influence of his father did it. Perhaps was the fruit of the old man's persistence, perhaps the hope that he would be left alone. Or perhaps he did find the right girl, the right woman, and he fell in love. Which would be much worse.

He was invited to the wedding, and even though he considered it disrespectful, because Klaus was well aware of his feelings, he assisted and behaved like the actual gentleman he was. He kissed the plain-vanilla woman on her blushed cheek and held Klaus' hand firmly. But not once did he dare to look into those mosel-green eyes. He didn't dare. His eyes would speak much more than his spurious greetings and words of encouragement. And he didn't wish for Klaus to know how deeply he'd been hurt. 

As much as he knew that Klaus would never take him, he knew Klaus would never love anyone. That was somewhat soothing, and he managed to live and enjoy the fact that strangely he had been the longest relationship, if not the only one - the Major ever had. Yet now, marriage changed the whole scenario. Flirting was out of the question and the hope of a little moment of weakness from Klaus, just a moment, was now lost. He knew well that a man like his darling would be loyal and would commit with body and heart and soul to the sacred bond of matrimony. So it was all lost. All gone. 

As he danced with G during the wedding party, sniffing her hair and rubbing her back as she cried softly against his chest, he observed Klaus. He looked meek but lacked all excitement or enthusiasm, while the simple blond girl seemed to be stepping on the soft clouds of her heavenly dream. 

\- We've lost him... - G murmured against his lavender coloured suit.

\- My dear G -he chuckled, comforting her- he was never ours.

He would have loved to deny it, he would have loved to say he was alright, and that he was not depressed at all. Merely bored, uninterested. But his boys were utterly worried, since never did his lordship miss a bath, never did he skip a meal, and yet there he was, gloomy, dirty and skinnier than ever. 

It was strangely James who came up with the idea.

\- He is rich and powerful. I bet he can buy our Lord whatever he wants!

\- Or pay for his therapist... - Jones mumbled and there Bonham agreed.

Good old Bonham called the man himself, and in less than three days Signore* Volovolonte showed up in the castle with a giant bouquet.

\- My dear Conte*... -he said sadly, when he saw who was the subject of his adoration- How come you do this to yourself..?

The embarrassment he felt when his friend Gian Maria saw him was less than the pain and the urgent need to be comforted. Not saying a word, he pouted and buried himself in an embrace that he hadn't dared to ask for since the day of the joyful wedding, and for the first time in several months he felt ready to admit how wrong his life was at that point.

He allowed himself to be rescued, but politely rejected the medical assistance. He reassured Volovolonte that his mere company would be enough. He traveled with him to Italy, took his gang with him and even James, jealous James, was a silent witness of the strange relationship of his master with the mafia boss. For it was thanks to him that the one he loved almost as much as money was again looking invigorated, healthy and even happy. 

Tacitly, something changed there. Gian Maria's girlfriend stepped aside yet never left as long as she got a diamond ring or any precious present, and Dorian became more and more dependant on the older man. 

He never had someone who loved him with such devotion, such passion and without any hint of shame or embarrassment. Everyone knew what Gian Maria felt, everyone knew who was the owner of his heart. He was proud to yell his love for Dorian and he offered everything he had and was to him. There was a moment, just a little moment of realization and the Earl understood that perhaps even though he was an aesthete and Gian Maria wasn't precisely eye candy, what mattered the most was that he was loved, and funnily, he loved back.

He gave in and surrendered to Volovolonte. He had been with many men, mostly beautiful youths. But he’d also had encounters with older and not so good-looking fellows. Nevertheless, none of those encounters were recalled with tenderness. Yet his rendezvous with Gian Maria was guided by something deeper than looks. Everything that night was made with love, and for the first time in endless months Dorian felt genuinely happy and right where he belonged. 

Life was finally good again. He started working again and now everything seemed alright. He wasn't exactly in love. He loved, which was much more than enough, and most importantly, he was loved. He was a priority. He was special, unique. The first thing Gian would think of as the day began, the last thing he would think of when the day ended. He was put on a pedestal just as he deserved. Praised and worshipped, and his partner was a romantic man who had a different idea to charm him everyday. A different poem, a new song, a stolen painting, a fine new outfit for him to wear. 

But what he had to give, endlessly and without restrictions, that was love.

\- Ti adoro, mio caro. Sei tutto per me...*

He always had words of love for him. And with each one, he felt willing to respond honestly.

\- Gian, mi hai rubato il cuore!*

It was a joy to hear Gian laugh at the idea of himself stealing anything from Eroica. And none less than the blonde's heart.

So happy was he that when Bonham informed him about NATO needing his assistance for a mission, he decided he would gladly collaborate.

\- Does it disturb you anyhow, dear? That I am to meet the Major? - he asked Volovolonte.

\- Macché! Amore*, you do as your heart tells you. Want to go to Germany and help him? You do. Are you doing this as a favour for an old love or as a work?

\- Work, my dear, nothing but work. You can be certain, and I assure you, certain, that my heart belongs to you alone and there's nothing left of what I ever felt for signore Eberbach. You do believe me, do you not?

\- Eccome! Avanti*, amore, you go and do the job. You will be amazing and then you'll be back to me. Eh?

\- Si... Grazie, mio caro.*

\- If something happens there, just keep it secret for me, Dorino, eh? -Gian said with a shameless smile.

\- Neanche per sogno!* Gian!

Volovolonte kissed the forehead of his grumpy angel until he smiled again. They held each other tight.

\- In bocca al lupo!* -Gian whispered.

Dorian smiled and kissed his man.

\- Crepi!

To welcome him, only two alphabets appeared. Names unknown. Two random letters, not the ones he was most used to talking to. Little did it matter. He was there for work.

Yet, the closer he was to seeing the Major, the worse he felt. He was uneasy, unsteady, simply nervous. It never happened before and he was wondering what would be the cause. Because he was no longer in love with Klaus. And so, there were no hard feelings either. However, there he was, sweating and with his hands linked on his lap, trying to dissimulate the slight trembling of his limbs.

Once he was there, he met sweet G and exchanged a few tender words with her. It was so delicious to compliment the beautiful youth and her exquisite taste for perfumes and makeup. She was a living doll. 

He greeted A and B, and Z but the last one was rather dull. And finally the Major.

He was nervous to even speak to him. He smiled politely but he felt the corners of his mouth tensing. Klaus nodded as a greeting and with a vague gesture of his index finger, he asked him to follow him into the privacy of an empty office. 

Only when they were alone, were actual words spoken.

\- Was your trip alright? -Klaus asked with a neutral cold tone.

\- Indeed, thank you... -his attitude was so polite and didn't have the slightest colour of the kittenish, playful, flirting tone of usual.

Klaus seemed to notice. He raised an eyebrow but kept quiet. He scrutinized Dorian for a long moment before he frowned and looked down.

\- Well, I appreciate that you agreed to do this. I judged you wrong. I was sure you wouldn't come. Unless you came to ruin the mission on purpose -he said finally.

\- Whyever would I do that, I wonder? -Dorian asked in return.

\- Well... -Klaus moved awkwardly and then leaned against a desk, sitting on the edge- I presume my marriage caught you by surprise.

Dorian looked annoyed. His cheeks were two blossoming roses. 

\- We haven't had the chance to talk much, not before, nor during my wedding party... -Klaus went on, casually.

\- As far as I remember you never cared for an exchange of words with me, Major. I don't see why that precise day would be the most propitious. You were with the bride and I with my misery -for the first time he admitted his pain to the one who caused it-, and my humour, I can assure you, it wasn't the best at all.

The reaction of the Major was quite unexpected. He didn't show his usual anger, and he didn’t at all look amused. On the contrary, he seemed quite hurt.

\- Perhaps I shouldn't have invited you -he spoke softly- but at the same time, I wanted you to be around. It is strange, and I don't like to admit it much, but of all people, I think you're the only one I can call a friend...

Friend... Dorian didn't need a friend. He didn't want a friend. Not in Klaus. He stood proud and stoic.

\- I don't have friends like you. Don't need them. I don't see you as a friend, I'm sorry.

\- No? -Klaus looked younger, because the timid, embarrassed expression gave him a very innocent look.

\- No.

\- Oh... Well... I still thank you for going. I can imagine how you felt. And still, you were there. And you were so well behaved. That proves your quality. I have an even higher opinion of you now.

\- I never knew you had a high opinion of me at all. You made the exact opposite quite clear...

\- Lord Gloria... -he sounded compassionate- I know how I treated you, and what I've done to you. But you must be blind if you never saw that I have trusted you more than anyone. I have been a fool. But please, from now on, let's wipe the slate. I believe we've grown and it's time to settle things down. Can we just... Forget about the past and move on? You're a man I could like. If we... If we are serious and sincere. Not playing a foolish game. I want to have you as an ally. A friend. Can we?

Dorian's eyes were too wet. He hoped not to feel a thing, but his poor existence was a mess. On one hand he hated Klaus for showing such a kind and thoughtful side now, after all those years. On the other, he felt that his heart was beating with a well known rhythm. And the pain in his chest was a proof of remaining feelings.

\- If you trust me so... Why did you suggest the idea of me accepting this job only to take revenge? -he asked.

... -Klaus sighed- I guess it was the worst moment to start joking. Please... If there's something you want to say... Let it out. And let's move on like grown men.

Sounded fair enough. And perhaps it wasn't a bad idea to still have Klaus around. Also, being honest, it could help to start healing and moving on. He nodded.

\- I was hurt, but you're not to be blamed. I never expected you to be mine, but hope is the last thing you lose. And I got to lose it, once you became attached to someone else. I was a victim of my own hopes and expectations, and the result was disastrous. I fell into a deep depression, but thankfully I could get out. I am now alright. I confess, this is the first moment I can actually see that you were not at all responsible for what I was feeling. I feel ashamed now, but alright, one cannot control how to feel every time, right? I did love you, I discovered with horror that I still do, and I, perhaps, always will. But I'd rather have you as a friend than far away as a complete stranger. You have been my greatest love, and also you've been my greatest pain, but if anything you have been indeed my most dear ally, and I am glad we can come to talk like the grown men we are. I appreciate your honesty and trust. And I believe we can be in peace.

Klaus looked quite moved for his usual self and nodded. He gulped before he could speak.

\- I appreciate your sincerity as well. I'm glad we could set things down. So we're all good?

He offered his pale calloused hand and after some moments of hesitation, Dorian shook it.

\- All good, Major.

\- Please call me Klaus. Forget about Major.

The mission was a piece of cake. Klaus seemed enormously surprised at how fast things were done when Dorian didn't interfere with the perfect plan he elaborated. The Earl felt quite bored, but he was determined to do things fast and efficiently.

When everything was finished, that same night, Klaus thanked him.

\- You were quite precise. It's not usual in you... You tend to do things in your way..

Dorian shrugged.

\- We came to the conclusion that we're grown men now and I intend to behave as such. It was an agreement.

Klaus nodded.

\- Do you want to take a walk now that we're done? I'm still too excited to stay still. How do you feel?

A strange wave of satisfaction flooded the Earl's heart with that simple sequence of sentences. He tried to make it fade away but failed miserably.

\- Alright, let's. I feel a bit excited myself. But it was very easy to retrieve that microfilm.

\- For you... -Klaus looked at Dorian and there was the hint of a smile- You're the thief that can make the impossible, possible.

Dorian chuckled ironically as Klaus lit a cigarette.

\- That's the phrase you used to employ to manipulate me...

\- Come on... -Klaus took a drag of the cigarette- No looking back. Also, I mean it. You are.

\- I am, all right.

After a few moments of silence, walking side by side, Klaus blew a long cloud of smoke and sighed.

\- I am getting divorced.

How can a simple phrase disconcert a man so much? Because for a moment Dorian felt as if his heart stopped. He even felt a slight pain in his chest and wondered if perhaps his life came to an end. But his heart went on beating, faster than before.

\- Say again?

\- I'm getting divorced. Yes, I know... Fast. 

All responses to such a statement flew away from the Earl's mind.

\- Is there perhaps a reason for such a sudden decision?

\- It's not sudden. If I may be honest I think I wanted to divorce the very same night of the wedding. But I tell you something. My father was becoming a very unbearable pain in the ass with the heir shit. He wanted a grandchild, and wasn't going to leave me to take a shit without reminding me. So, I started seeing women. And Greta seemed quite good.

\- Greta... -Dorian pointed out.

\- Ja*... Didn't you remember the name?

\- Not at all.

\- All right. Well, Greta was quite okay. Pretty. Simple. Quiet. Submissive, discreet. So after courting her for a while, we dated as a proper couple. I was surprised you didn't find out. 

\- How was I supposed to do so? I was living in England.

\- Yes but I know you stalk me. Anyways, my father met her and liked her so I decided fuck it, I'll marry this one, get her pregnant, and then move on. I am not the loving kind so I'm not even one little bit ashamed of saying this. I'm being honest. But guess what?

\- ... You are impotent?

Klaus became livid.

\- WAS? Nein!!!* And I'm perfectly capable of getting a woman pregnant!! I could get YOU pregnant if I wanted to!!

Just after he said that he looked embarrassed. He shook his head and looked away. But strangely, Dorian tittered.

\- Iron Klaus defying the laws of nature?

After a few moments Klaus sneered.

\- Well, you know me... -he mumbled with a playful tone that wasn't usual in him.

\- So... -Dorian diverted- Say, was there something wrong with *Greta*? -he pronounced it with a strong German accent.

\- She has a problem it seems. She had a miscarriage. And after that we found out she couldn't get pregnant. There is a reason but I will not torture you with explanations.

\- Oh, poor dear... -he said sincerely- Is she alright?

\- Well... Yes but... In the first place, I never married her for love. Secondly, I don't wish to be married. And the only purpose that forced me to marry was the goddamn child, and without a child, what's the fucking point so... Sorry, lady.

\- That's utterly cruel...

\- I know, but I think you will agree the most that I don't have a particularly soft heart, do I? 

An awkward silence stretched between them. Klaus finished and started another cigarette as Dorian thought of the girl he met just once. She seemed genuinely happy. Completely unaware of the tacit mission the Major had for her: she was the carrier of his heir and nothing more. As she failed, he disposed of her as he did with any person who failed him. Dorian felt genuine pity for her.

\- How's her health, poor thing? -he asked after a while.

\- Excellent, thank goodness. But actually we both agreed that it was best to separate. Neither was satisfied. In any aspect possible.

Dorian felt curious to know which precise aspects he could ever mean but at the same time, digging deeper could make him sick. Ah, but was he curious.

\- You mean sexually, Major?

Klaus coughed sofly.

\- Cut it out with the “Major”. And yes, among other things. She said I hurt her. When we did the stuff. So I did it just the necessary times to get her pregnant and never more. But we wouldn't even talk or touch much. I was always away and being around her made me dull. She didn't excite the slightest passion in me. Not even in a negative way. I couldn't even get angry at her. Why would I? She barely spoke to me. When I slept with her, I... It was dull. All my parts worked fine but honestly, it was like fucking a dummy.

-Major...

-Cut it out with the “Major!”

-Don't yell at me!

Klaus looked at him surprised. But nodded.

-Excuse me... Well, sorry. You asked, so...

-That's fine, I got the idea. You weren't meant for each other, it appears.

-Nein. And it was better to leave it.

Another uncomfortable silence. Klaus broke it with a long sigh.

-Poor woman. But... What can one do.

-Do you intend to try again?

-No fucking way. Why for? To put another poor silly woman in that horrible position? I know very well that I will never fall in love.

-Never say never -Dorian mumbled.

-You just said it twice.

Dorian smiled. Klaus gave him a fast look and smiled too.

-Don't you think I'm full of shit? -the Major asked, and Dorian laughed.

\- Indeed. You heartless man...

\- Great. Alright, let's go back to the hotel.

The awkward atmosphere dissolved and they kept talking, but only about the mission. Nothing too serious since both of them were a bit exhausted. When they were about to go separate ways in the hotel, Klaus stopped Dorian by grabbing his arm.

\- Listen, Dorian... I was thinking. Tomorrow at midnight we go back home. Wanna join me tomorrow evening for dinner? Just you and I. In a fancy restaurant, not something cheap as I did before...

It was a simple question, and any other time the answer would have been yelled without hesitation. However this time it took him a long time to answer.

\- I don't see why not. Sure thing. 

Klaus chuckled.

\- No compromise, just if you want...

\- No, no, it's fine. Sounds good.

\- Okay. Meet me here at 8.

And he tromped away.

Once he was left alone, he locked himself in his room. He took a shower, got ready for bed and laid there thinking what on Earth was going on. He never ever had the chance to speak, or rather listen to the Major talking so openly and honestly to him. Even less, of such personal and sensitive topics. Klaus wanting to befriend him, calling him by his Christian name... Inviting him to dine with him. All very strange behaviours the man never had before. Yet, anyways, he would not decline the invitation. It was cordial. Just to seal that loyal agreement of a friendship, sort of speaking. It took him a long time, but finally he submerged into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next day went on calmly. He walked around the streets, greeted people, stole a gorgeous bracelet for himself just out of habit and bought a very fanciful golden ring for his beloved Gian-Maria. He got the letters "D-R-G, G-M-V" engraved on it. He was so delighted to be able to come up with such a beautiful token of love for his adored man. He couldn't stop smiling as he went back to the hotel.

But as the evening approached, he started feeling more and more anxious. He tried with all his strength not to think of his meeting with the Major as a date. But the foolishness of his heart keep betraying him with ridiculous hopes and feelings. Oh, if he could just feel NOTHING for Klaus. If he could just look into his eyes and feel nothing. If he could just talk to him, be addressed by him, be touched by him and feel just the exact same empty feeling of being addressed or touched by anyone else. But no. He feel excited. Even worse, he felt happy. He felt happy being with Klaus. And being treated so nicely was a heavenly gift.

Alright, it was a naïveté to believe that after almost decades of pursuing the same man, he could just erase all his feelings. But he certainly wished he could not feel them at all.

He wore his pink tuxedo for the occasion because it was the only fancy dress item he brought. He was delighted to find out it still fit him. He had grown thicker with age, but after the months of depression he lost a considerable amount of mass. He recovered some of it the last few months, but it was still not what he had gained throughout the years.

Klaus appeared in the meeting place wearing a normal dark blue suit. The Earl was expecting some remark about his choice in dress, but if the Major thought of something rude he dissimulated it terrifyingly well behind the most dazzling and breathtaking grin Dorian had ever seen. Never ever had Klaus smiled at him like that. It was of an immeasurable cruelty, to show him how charming and delish he could be just when he could not enjoy it in full. 

Good thing for the Earl that he was as charming and also still had a bit of strength. When he saw that beautiful, smiling man, he smiled back.

\- You came- the brunette said- I was a bit worried that you wouldn't.

\- Still not trusting my word, Major? -he asked, biting his tongue not to ask since when was the Major so worried about himself not coming near him. 

\- It is not that. I was afraid you started seeing the real me and decided to stay away just when I'm starting to want you around.

They were already leaving the hotel. Dorian's heartbeat quickened. The Major articulated those words so casually but the reaction they caused in the Earl was powerful. What on Earth was happening? 

\- I said I'd come and so I did... - was all he said.

\- A man of word.

\- As usual.

Conversations went on naturally and they weren't forced. Never in years was he able to sit in a car with Klaus and converse with him of things that weren't related to anything concerning his missions or thievery or the love he professed for the Major that was returned as hate. But this time, these last days, he felt closer than ever. Only he was supposed to feel further.

As they arrived at the restaurant and ordered food, Dorian wondered what Gian-Maria would be doing. Would he be mad if he found out he had dinner with "the kraut"? The Earl assumed he wouldn't be. Because he was a philanderer himself, but also had an appealing philosophy in which everything seemed to amuse him. It was impossible to wipe the smile off his face, and few things made him angry. 

Dinner was of the finest, the finest, and the company for both men was optimal. Once more, every conversation followed the previous with enthusiasm and it flowed like a river.

-So it is perhaps my fault that G likes dresses so much now. If it weren't for that stupid mission - Klaus commented rolling his eyes.

-Ah, Major, I'm sure... G does it because G enjoys it.

-Are you saying "G" or "she"? We call him "G".

-I call *her* "G", but I understand our pronunciation differ. If I say "she" and I say "G", it doesn't sound the same, does it?

\- It does to me, Dorian.

\- Say G in English.

\- G.

\- ... Very well. Now say "she".

\- ... G.

Dorian laughed. Klaus smiled at him.

\- Our G is softer I guess- the Major mumbled.

\- I'm sure she is.*

This time Klaus laughed. It was a spontaneous, contagious, masculine laughter and Dorian laughed with him. It was the first time ever they could share a laugh like that.

\- It's just... Poor Agent. It's difficult for me to call... Her a female. I'm too old perhaps, or too... Closed minded or whatever. But, hey, in my defence, any other time I would have sent... Her to Antarctica not Alaska. And I didn't. G is a good agent and she's very efficient and also she's a fine company for this junior, kid huh, Z? Well... I think she is good for him. And so they work well together so I accept her. As long as she is good at her job...

\- And as long as she's happy...

Klaus sighed.

\- Well... Of course -another eye roll- Happiness.

\- It's very important for people like us to have support, for your information. As much as we show confidence, rejection hurts very much. We're not doing what we do to be rebels or to show off. We do as our heart commands. I'm almost certain that your respect for her choice in life is not taken as something casual. I believe with my heart that she appreciates it with her whole being. You claim yourself a bad man now, but you have had many spontaneous acts that have shown your quality. You're not a bad man, Major. You're simply not the best. But, who is? You're as good as you can be. And that is enough.

Klaus was left speechless. He was unexpressive, yet Dorian could perceive a hint of emotional warmth in his eyes. After a while he spoke again, softly.

\- When will you stop calling me Major?

Dorian smiled.

\- When you stop being Major to me. And I believe, that will never happen.

Klaus squinted.

\- What do you mean? What do I have to do? Quit?

\- Oh, no, I mean, when you can become Klaus to me.

\- Alright. And? I said I was your friend.

\- I have been the closest you had to a friend, you said so yourself. And you've always been Major.

After a few moments of consideration, Klaus nodded.

\- That's a very foppish thing, you want me to be intimate with you, no? And then you'll call me Klaus.

A helpless grin appeared on Dorian's face.

\- My, you understand it all.

\- And you say that will never happen? 

How daring... He even looked daring as he asked the question. He didn't hesitate or stutter or show repulsion to the idea. Klaus asked it with his usual confidence. Dorian shrugged.

\- Of course not. It won't.

\- Why are you so sure?

Dorian almost felt indignant. The Major had so many years to flirt but he had to choose the most inconvenient time.

\- Because I wouldn't allow it.

The answer took Klaus by surprise, it was evident.

\- No? How so?

\- I am committed to a man. I am loyal, and I have no intentions to deceive him. My poor Darling, he is my savior.

Finally, the charming mood of Klaus faded away.

\- What?? -he frowned, disgusted.

\- I'm in a relationship and it's serious. I've been for a couple of months. I live with him. I've known him since I was a boy, he is... I was going to say he's like a father to me, but boy, that would be sick.

\- Who is he? Do I know him?

\- What do you care...

\- I do care. Do I know him?

\- I believe you do. Volovolonte, remember him?

Klaus turned pale but laughed, although it was a fake, forced laugh.

\- That wop? The mafia dude? You're joking!

But Dorian was serious and didn't answer.

\- ... Why...

\- Because he loves me and has been very kind to me these last months. After you wed, I became very miserable. He rescued me and I realized I loved him back. You have no idea the effect that devotion, that genuine love can have in someone. Being so adored, asking nothing in return, that is... Well, it seduces. Being praised so much, the way he can make you feel so special. He makes you feel as if you're one of a kind. You're the North and South, East and West, and that even your flaws are perfect. That seduces. When he looks at you and you see in those eyes all he sees. How beautiful he thinks you are. How marvellous. How important you are for him. And you see the love that knows no scruples and boundaries. You're simply all to him. You find yourself thinking, "dear, do you really love me that much? What did I ever do to deserve all that love? I never returned your love. And do you love me still?". And all you have to do to find the answer is to look into his eyes. And he loves you and... By then you realize. You love him too. Not because you like to be praised, no. But because he teaches you how to love. It grows slowly. And it blossoms. Like the last rose. The one that takes longer to blossom is usually the prettiest. That's why. Because he loves me and taught me how to love.

Once more, Klaus was speechless. After a while of scrutinizing the Earl with an unreadable expression he pursed his lips a bit and looked down.

\- Sounds reasonable. Good for you. Are you ready to go back to the hotel? I have a plane to take at midnight.

Dorian was fine with it.

Who knows what was crossing Klaus' mind. Because he became like the old stiff uptight Major of always. No chatter, no smiles, nothing. Only silence and tensed jaw.

However, right before they were to part ways again, he greeted Dorian.

\- Thank you, thanks so much for coming with me.

\- It's been a nice dinner. I must thank you.

\- And, Dorian, I... I want to tell you this. I'm a fool for not saying... Not *seeing * it before. And I shouldn't say it now. You don't deserve this. But you're wrong. I do know how all you said feels. I do know how it feels to see all the love someone can feel for you in someone's eyes. I know how it feels to be so much for someone that you feel you're the only person on Earth. I know what it is to know well that even when all people turn their backs to you, he will be there because he loves you. I know what it is to see those eyes, and see that love... Until one day they only reflect your own feelings -his own eyes were watering- I know what is feels to love him back because he loves you. And he taught you how to love him back. Because I have never, ever loved anyone as much as I love you now. And you taught me that. And I'm so sorry that I was such a coward, and I'm so regretful of all the damage I caused you. And today I was... I was ready to beg. And tell you that, that I felt so sick marrying someone... Knowing you were left alone and wrecked... -He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, then went on- I was ready to win you back. But now... How could I? You look... You look wonderful and I know that's not how I last saw you on my wedding. You were the picture of sadness and I was an imbecile not to take you away with me. But now you're happy and... You deserve THAT. And not this... I don't deserve you. I never will. I just want you to know... That I will be miserable... Every single day of my life... Without you. Because you're the only one I ever loved. And I will never have you. I'm so sorry...

The moment he closed his mouth, a big rounded tear fell down the Major's pale cheek and he let it be, with dignity. Dorian let out a shaky sigh and bit his lip to prevent it from trembling. Klaus shook his head, grabbed his shoulder and placed a chaste, loving, soft kiss on the Earl's cheek.

-Goodbye, my friend. You've stolen my heart. You won.

And just like that, he left.

Dorian cried all night long. He feared this may be the reason of Klaus' sudden change. But he was hoping not to be it. It was cruel. It was a joke of destiny. Not even in dreams he hoped the Major to speak like that. But he did. 

It appeared Klaus was there to make his life miserable. First for Klaus being the love of Dorian's life without reciprocity. Secondly, for Dorian being the love of Klaus' life WITH reciprocity but not being able to return that love. It appeared that his relationship was Klaus was a curse. A pipe dream.

But Klaus was right. He deserved happiness. And he knew he would get it in Gian-Maria's arms. As he did before. He'd return to Italy to his beloved and there he'd learn to forgive and forget.

So he did. He went back to Gian-Maria and spent most of the day in his arms.

\- What is it, amore? Did the kraut hurt you? 

\- No, Gian... I just missed you, my love. Say, you liked the ring?

\- I love it, mio caro. I'm touched. I missed you too. I was counting the days.

But sadly, he was never the same again. He was happy around Volovolonte, but as soon as he was alone tears would fill his eyes. Lovemaking lacked of passion. The loving words he had for Gian were sincere but full of pity, as if he couldn't bear the guilt of loving someone else at the same time.

A month went by. And another. And far from recovering, Dorian was worse and worse. Volovolonte was no fool.

\- Amore... -he said serious, one say.

\- Say, dear.

\- What is going on in that bella testa* of yours, mh?

\- What is it with my head? What do you mean?

\- Come on... You haven't been the same since you came back from seeing that coglione*. What did he do?

Dorian sighed.

\- Nothing in particular, Gian, my dear. You must understand that he has been very important for me and it's simply difficult to just cut the bond. I am trying to get over it. And I will. As I did before -he smiled and held his hand.

Gian patted that hand and kissed it.

\- But you aren't, piccolo*. Why? Why were you happier before and why are you miserable? I feel he... Told you something, eh? Like, eh, say, he told you he didn't like the wife. Or that you were prettier. Something that gave you hope but you felt bad because you're with me. Eh? 

Dorian turned pale and gulped and Gian smiled.

\- Ah... I am right it seems...

It was all written on his face and he couldn't keep on lying.

\- It... Is true. You're right. He divorced and also confessed his love for me -Dorian admitted with a pained expression.

\- Eh? -Gian looked actually astonished- He confessed that?!

\- Indeed...

\- Merda... E tú?*

\- Me what? 

\- What did you say?

\- Absolutely nothing. Not a word.

Volovolonte nodded. He kept nodding for a while and caressing his chin. Then he held both of Dorian's hands and smiled.

\- You really are madly in love for that kraut, eh?

The Earl just sighed.

\- Amore... You have been most of your life. Why wouldn't you now?

\- Alright. But I am with you. And I love you, I do love you- Dorian swore.

\- Well, well but... Dorino... You know well that, I am an old man and you for me have been like the very same god Apollo. I never even dared to dream I could be with you. Never. Your heart has always been with him. Since the day you met him. And if his heart is with you... Who am I to stop it? 

A flash of panic came across Dorian.

\- Oh no, Gian, don't you bloody dare....

\- Amore, listen... Listen please. I have been the luckiest man of all, the day I was considered by you as a friend. Being your lover has been the blessing of gods. I will always love you because before anything else you were my idol, my muse, my sun. All I want for my sweet boy Dorian is his happiness. And I could give it to you but, eh... You are not happy! So, how am I going to retain you here when I can see your angel wings flapping to go back to the raven man?

Panic, pain and sadness filled Dorian's eyes. He pouted lightly and held Gian' arms.

\- You don't say that, don't... I won't leave you...

\- No! Of course not! You can always come back to me, I am your patron saint! -he smiled widely.

\- No! No, I won't! Gian... I'd feel so dirty... Why aren't you sad?! -his eyes were teary.

\- Because we found the key to your happiness, amore! You just have to take it and open the doors! You will be happy.

\- No, no, he doesn't make me happy.... -he shook his head.

\- Caro mio... You better find out, eh? Go and find out if you can be happy with him. If you're not... Come back to me.

\- You're crazy, what do you think I am? You're not... You shouldn't be a replacement option, never!

\- Oh, dear... I have been from the start. Listen, Dorian -he cupped his face with both hands- I love you more than I loved anyone. And I know you love me. Do you want to do something for me?

\- Anything you want.

\- Smile. A true smile. Smile for me again...

Dorian looked surprised. The petition was easy to comply. But... He just couldn't.

-Gian...

-There, amore. Go there. Find him. Find your happiness again and find your smile again. And then my wish will be granted.

Dorian closed his eyes and nodded. He started crying softly. He embraced Gian in a long, endless hug and made sure to memorize it, his scent, his warmth and his tenderness.

-I love you Gian. Thank you.

-I love you too, amore. Avanti. 

A few days later, Dorian found himself standing at Klaus' door. He rang the bell and waited. Parting from Italy was fine. Volovolonte made sure to make him feel better about the idea, until he actually found himself thinking it was a good idea. But... There was a bit of terror in the thought of finding the old angry Major.

Herr Hinkel opened the door.

\- Oh! Lord Gloria! Come in, come in.

Dorian was surprised.

\- Is... Your master waiting for me or something?

\- Not necessarily! But he said that if you ever came, I shouldn't send you away, I should let you in. Come, he must be in the library.

Definitely, there he was. The smell of cigarette smoke was strong and grew stronger. As Hinkel stepped inside, Klaus looked up, not noticing Dorian who was still behind the wall. He was sitting legs crossed on a sofa, a lit cigarette between his lips, a book on his lap.

\- Was willst du.*

\- Lord Gloria ist hier.*

Klaus sat up from the furniture and left the book and cigarette as Dorian came in. He nodded and looked at Hinkel.

\- Leave us. And make sure we're undisturbed.

\- Certainly -the man bowed and left.

Undisturbed... Dorian couldn't help but blush.

They stood in front of each other looking awkwardly around. Finally, Klaus cleared his throat.

\- Well... Welcome. What, huh, what brings you here? -he asked but actually with a kind tone.

\- ... You. I came for you. If you still... Want me -Dorian said without preamble.

Klaus gaped and looked at him for a long time before a smile appeared on his face. Dorian smiled back and with two long steps Klaus was suddenly in front of him. He looked nervous but determined. He smiled and lifted a shaky hand -Klaus could shoot a Magnum with one hand without trembling, but there he was, shaking from head to toe- and cupped Dorian's face.

\- C-can I... Huh... -it seemed words were impossible in that situation.

\- Yes, yes... No need to ask my permission.

The Major smiled and very gently he pressed his lips on Dorian's. Only that little gesture sent a shiver through Dorian's body. He sighed and embraced Klaus, kissing him deeper. The brunette stiffened but only for one moment, and soon he was relaxed and responding to the kiss ravenously. It was a kiss yearned for years, so it was full of passion and hunger and need. Dorian noticed he was bending backwards because Klaus was over him, squeezing his waist with an arm and grasping at the nape of his neck with the other free hand. 

He didn't know when, he didn't know how, but soon he was laying on the sofa and his shirt was opened. Perhaps it would be a good idea to tell Klaus to take it easy but... These were Klaus and himself. They knew each other. They loved each other. There was no need to restrain.

Klaus took off his polo shirt and Dorian growled a bit. He was seeing Klaus topless and the man had such an aroused expression that it was hard not to respond with lust.

Layers of clothes disappeared and they were soon naked in each other's arms. The encounter was sloppy, almost bizarre, a bit brute but it was so natural. There wasn't much they could do. But having Klaus on top of him, his hard massive virility against his own, his hot kisses and warm breath against his skin was maddening. Klaus rocked his hips against Dorian with such urge that it took only minutes to reach the climax, each man trembling and panting in each other's arms. 

Was he dreaming? He ran his fingers through Klaus' hair. Felt real enough.

\- Klaus? -he whispered.

Klaus looked up and smiled. 

\- You're calling me Klaus -he grinned against his lips and kissed him- Thank you for coming here...

Dorian gulped. He was so happy that he could cry.

\- ... I love you, Klaus.

\- I love you too. And I will make it up to you. Every year, month, day from now on. I love you, Dorian. I guarantee you, I'll make you happy.

Knowing Klaus as well as he did, he knew that was a promise he'd fulfill.

A few months later, a tall, dark haired man with a ponytail, dressed only with a white opened shirt and long khaki pants was drinking a glass of wine on the deck of a nice ship, looking at his flamboyant divine boyfriend having a profound and apparently hilarious conversation with a good friend of his, the owner of the ship. He could well feel jealous, but that man had done more for Dorian than he could ever be able to thank him for. The man looked his way and lifted his Martini as a greeting. Klaus responded with the same gesture, smiling. Then Gian turned to Dorian, caressed the dimple in his chin and murmured something in his ear that made the blonde hug him instantly. The older man walked away smiling and Dorian walked towards Klaus.

The Major wrapped an arm around Dorian's shoulders and kissed his temple. Dorian looked a bit emotional.

\- Hey, what's that face, hottie? What did he say? -Klaus asked.

\- Oh, nothing, he just... He told me he was delighted to see me smiling again. Long story...

Klaus looked into his eyes and smiled.

\- We have the rest of our lives to tell each other stories - and he placed a soft kiss on his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* " Signore", mister.

* "Conte", Lord.

* " Ti adoro, mio caro. Sei tutto per me"- I love you, my dear. You're everything to me.

* " Gian, mi hai rubato il cuore!", Gian, you've stolen my heart.

* " Macché!" Meaning similar to "no way".

* " Amore", love.

* " Eccome! Avanti", Certainly! Come on.

* "Grazie, mio caro", thanks, my dear.

* " Neanche per sogno!", Not even in dreams!

* " -In bocca al lupo!  
-Crepi!", is a way to wish good luck.

* " Ja", yes.

* " Was? Nein!", what? No!

* The whole G conversation is a pun. The letter "G" in English and the pronoun "she" are somewhat similar. The letter "G" in German is pronounced 'softer'.

* "Bella testa", beautiful head.

* " Coglione", used as "bastard", " idiot".

* "Piccolo", little one.

* "Merda, e tú?", shit, and you?

* "Was willst du", what do you want.

* "Lord Gloria ist hier", Lord Gloria is here.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Lotsa G as usual because I looooove her.
> 
> \- Gotta love Volovolonte (dunno do I always write his name well?)
> 
> \- Had to give ma boys a happy ending ;_; 
> 
> \- This is a work of long monologues. It's deliberately on purpose.
> 
> \- Gian's weird English also on purpose. My own weird English, well, that's my thing.
> 
> \- PS: this absolutely random, but if you're interested in seeing my fanart, you can follow me on Tumblr (jigengoemon) and also we have a little Discord space where we rant about it. If you find me on Tumblr I can invite you. Mwah! <3


End file.
